I have been making some observations about myself and my thinking - or at least the way that I have been used to thinking for most of my life and find hard to shake. We all seem to have these patterns to our thought processes and for me (perhaps you as well?) one of them is that I keep putting things off until the right time.
Even those words do not adequately describe what we do exactly, it's as if we want to live or be a certain way, however, for that to come about will take considerable time, commitment, energy and effort - so we often just put it down as another wish/dream/desire/hope and let it sit.
Of course, what we end up with is this habit of wanting to do something, or create some new way of living, be somewhere and so forth - BUT, because it cannot be the exact way I would like it to be in that moment, I either back away from it or relegate it to the future events pile.
What I have realized is that by doing this continuously over my lifetime of living with all of these hopes and desires, the dream becomes like a carrot that is always slightly out of reach with us continuously going around in circles wishing that things were different.
Today I was pulling this thought pattern apart and I came up with several reasons that seem to float through my mind whenever I think of certain of my goals/dreams/hopes/wishes and why I am not living the way I want to be living at this very moment; I realized I think something along these lines -
wait until 'this' comes to me
looking forward to 'something' happening
wait until I have 'the' money or more money or financial security
wait until I live in a better location for 'that' to happen
wait until someone else does 'it' with me
wait until I am 'ready'
Now, if I was to insert a goal into each of those brief thoughts, such as having a baby or getting a puppy (if you have had children or a puppy you can relate to this) - waiting for something to happen is not going to make it happen, you will never have enough money and the time will never be exactly right.
Thankfully most of us go ahead and have children or get puppies anyway and deal with the life changes as they come up. So, why is it any different to place some other goal or desire into this scenario above and expect the same positive results, going with things as they happen or making them happen?
Could it be because a dream is still thought of as an extra, not really necessary, or might there be some level of higher resistance to pursuing a dream? And why might that be? Perhaps a dream is so large, affects so many and so much more that these ripples change everything, for everybody. Could there be an element of fear here?
Maybe dreams arrive from someplace else, a place where we first have to travel deep inside to retrieve them from the darkness, bringing them into the light of day. There may be many ways to look at the mechanics of waking up the dreamer inside- however, once awake, watch out world, because the waiting is over.
The decision is ours,
|Full moon over the night garden|